4 Key things to remember when starting over

It’s never easy when you think about having to start over with something. Especially if it seems like you have to start your whole life over again. I know what that feels like as a few years ago, I had to do exactly that. It felt like there was a mountain in front of me and I was about to climb it in stiletto’s with no safety line. But I was determined that I would climb it and that when I got to the top, the view was going to be great.

Part of what makes that view great and the climb worthwhile is when you get to the point when you realise that things really are going to be better than they were before. I learnt many things along the way and here I want to share with you some key tips that helped me to get the life I wanted.


What got you here won’t get you there!

Take some time to understand what got you to where you are today, so that you don’t make the same mistakes again. Mistakes are funny things as there are so many different types of mistakes, with varying consequences from simple little mistakes to big fat bloopers but the most important thing to remember is that in order to learn from them you have to accept them.

Own up to your mistakes even if only to yourself and you will get a much clearer understanding of how you got where you are today. We all make mistakes; even if that mistake is about allowing ourselves to put up with things we knew we shouldn’t have. There is no point in blaming everything on other people or life itself as you won’t learn anything. If you don’t accept your mistakes and look at them properly, then chances are you will keep making them. And the brilliant thing about starting again is that you get to do things differently, better than before.


Recognise your strengths.

No doubt there are probably many times in the past when things happened that you didn’t expect and you were thrown into a bit of turmoil. Or perhaps you even expected them to happen and didn’t have a choice. Either way, you dealt with them and got through them. You are probably a lot more resilient than you think you are.

Think of all the things that you have dealt with in your past and all the things that you have achieved and recognise how strong and capable you are. Be thankful to those things that you survived as they enabled you to learn something. Stop telling yourself that you are no good and that you are hopeless and tell yourself you are a wonderful and strong person, capable of dealing with whatever comes your way – because you are. When you recognise your strengths you will be able to tap into them and grow them even more.


Change is a positive thing.

People often stay stuck where they are because they are either scared of change in some way or are actually perfectly happy where they are - The proverbial pig in mud. Being adaptable and open to change allows you to experience new things and learn far more than you would if you stay where you are.

A lot of the time people resist change because they are unsure of what is going to happen and they feel as though they might not have control over the future. We do everything we can to avoid any type of discomfort in our lives, yet challenges and pressures can bring out the best in us. Your situation may have changed without you wanting it to but if you embrace it and find ways to rise to the challenge, you will certainly be glad that it did.


Stay focused on what you want.

Work out what it is you want for your future and set some goals around this so that you have something to work towards. This helps you to stay focused and will keep you moving forward. Set small chunks of goals so that you avoid overwhelm and help you to tackle things one step at a time.

If your first goal is to sort out your finances then start small by working out a budget and then set yourself a target to stick to. Achieving smaller goals will increase your confidence and build your self esteem, allowing you to set more challenging goals as you go along. When you keep your focus on the future and where you are going you will start to gradually see things moving and improving and before you know it you are well on your way to enjoying the new and improved you.