4 Key things to remember when starting over

It’s never easy when you think about having to start over with something. Especially if it seems like you have to start your whole life over again. I know what that feels like as a few years ago, I had to do exactly that. It felt like there was a mountain in front of me and I was about to climb it in stiletto’s with no safety line. But I was determined that I would climb it and that when I got to the top, the view was going to be great.

Part of what makes that view great and the climb worthwhile is when you get to the point when you realise that things really are going to be better than they were before. I learnt many things along the way and here I want to share with you some key tips that helped me to get the life I wanted.


What got you here won’t get you there!

Take some time to understand what got you to where you are today, so that you don’t make the same mistakes again. Mistakes are funny things as there are so many different types of mistakes, with varying consequences from simple little mistakes to big fat bloopers but the most important thing to remember is that in order to learn from them you have to accept them.

Own up to your mistakes even if only to yourself and you will get a much clearer understanding of how you got where you are today. We all make mistakes; even if that mistake is about allowing ourselves to put up with things we knew we shouldn’t have. There is no point in blaming everything on other people or life itself as you won’t learn anything. If you don’t accept your mistakes and look at them properly, then chances are you will keep making them. And the brilliant thing about starting again is that you get to do things differently, better than before.


Recognise your strengths.

No doubt there are probably many times in the past when things happened that you didn’t expect and you were thrown into a bit of turmoil. Or perhaps you even expected them to happen and didn’t have a choice. Either way, you dealt with them and got through them. You are probably a lot more resilient than you think you are.

Think of all the things that you have dealt with in your past and all the things that you have achieved and recognise how strong and capable you are. Be thankful to those things that you survived as they enabled you to learn something. Stop telling yourself that you are no good and that you are hopeless and tell yourself you are a wonderful and strong person, capable of dealing with whatever comes your way – because you are. When you recognise your strengths you will be able to tap into them and grow them even more.


Change is a positive thing.

People often stay stuck where they are because they are either scared of change in some way or are actually perfectly happy where they are - The proverbial pig in mud. Being adaptable and open to change allows you to experience new things and learn far more than you would if you stay where you are.

A lot of the time people resist change because they are unsure of what is going to happen and they feel as though they might not have control over the future. We do everything we can to avoid any type of discomfort in our lives, yet challenges and pressures can bring out the best in us. Your situation may have changed without you wanting it to but if you embrace it and find ways to rise to the challenge, you will certainly be glad that it did.


Stay focused on what you want.

Work out what it is you want for your future and set some goals around this so that you have something to work towards. This helps you to stay focused and will keep you moving forward. Set small chunks of goals so that you avoid overwhelm and help you to tackle things one step at a time.

If your first goal is to sort out your finances then start small by working out a budget and then set yourself a target to stick to. Achieving smaller goals will increase your confidence and build your self esteem, allowing you to set more challenging goals as you go along. When you keep your focus on the future and where you are going you will start to gradually see things moving and improving and before you know it you are well on your way to enjoying the new and improved you.

The 3 most important steps to maintaining your self respect in a relationship.

Do you find yourself in the same types of situations or relationships again and again, or is one of your fears that you don’t want to repeat old patterns and end up in the same situation but with someone new?

Or perhaps you are currently in a relationship and you are wondering why you keep ending up in the same place and going round in circles. Here are three ways in which you can re-evaluate what’s happening and make conscious changes for the better.

1 – Be honest with yourself

Only you can decide what you want to change and the only person that you can change is yourself. It has been said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over again and expecting different results!

Often we know what we don’t want more than what we do want and this can also make you feel like a victim when that is what you think you get. Get really clear on what you do want. Trust your intuition and make choices based on what you know deep down inside will make you feel good about yourself. Being honest with yourself will help you to reset those boundaries and make the changes that you want

2 – Take responsibility

It can be all too easy to allow yourself to feel like a victim of circumstance or other people, but when you do this you are effectively giving up your power and individuality to someone or something else. In some circumstances you may find that there are hidden benefits to playing the role of victim, but essentially; you are not a victim – you play a part in all relationships.

Accepting your part in the relationship, is a huge step towards releasing your own power and individuality and when you take a look at how you are feeling and what your behaviour has been; it will help you to see things from a perspective that will enable you to make changes for the better. Decide what is acceptable and set clear boundaries for yourself as well as others and when necessary discuss these honestly.

3 – Change the way you treat yourself.

If you don’t treat yourself well, how can you expect others to do so! Invest time and energy into yourself and take a long hard look at the things that you say to yourself. If you don’t feel that you are worthy then you will put up with bad behaviour from other people, and again it is about taking responsibility for what you are projecting. So start with you, show some appreciation– until you know what you are worth – you can’t expect others to. Never look for someone else to complete you – complete yourself.

For more ways to learn from the past and create the life and relatiosnhips you want for the future why not sign up for my FREE teleseminar series

The SECRET to rebuilding your confidence and putting yourself FIRST for a change

FREE TELESEMINAR PROGRAM
If you are ready to break through the barriers that have been holding you back and keeping you in the pain of your past relationships and stopping you from living your life the way you really want to, then don't miss out on this FREE 4-part Teleseminar Series.

CALL #1 starting Tuesday 28th JULY at 8.00p, GMT (3.00pm US Eastern)

The SECRET to rebuilding your CONFIDENCE and putting yourself FIRST for a change. with Susan Savery & Special Guest Expert Jane Wilmer

Sign up here:
http:www.susansavery.co.uk/4part_teleseminar_series.html

This call will be recorded and a link send to everyone who registers.

Boost your confidence - be prepared!

How many times have you got caught up in worrying about something you want to do? The fear that builds up can sap away at your confidence until you start to convince yourself that either you will never succeed, things are impossible or that you don't really want to do it anyway. It's certainly happened to me before.

One of the tricks that I have found to be really helpful in the past is to remind myself that its normal to feel apprehensive before taking on something new. I literally take myself back to basics and take some time remembering how I have felt in the past when I was less than confident about something. I go over in my head the steps I took to achieve what I wanted and most importantly;the lessons that I learnt. I remind myself of past successes no matter how small.

Most of the time we tend to feel lacking in confidence because we are unsure of something. There are grey areas in what we can expect or what we think is expected of us. We think of all the things that may go wrong or worry about what we don't know. We can also get caught up in the fear of failure and worrying about how we will look to others.

Preparation – Think about the things that are bothering you. Write a list and work through them one by one; eliminating them as much as possible. Will you get asked something you can’t answer? What will the situation be?

Cover your bases - Find out as much as you can, ask questions; take your time to prepare. (Beware not to allow preparation turn into procrastination).

When we are prepared we automatically feel more confident. Remember a time when you felt completely confident and prepared for a situation. Perhaps it was having a specific conversation with someone or meeting a group of new people. What did you do in the past? How can you prepare? Do you need to think about the aspects of the conversation you want to have? What kind of response do you think you might get? What might they ask you? Is there anything you can find out before hand? What sort of people are they, what are their interests.

How did you go about finding out this information before? Who could you ask? There are lots of ways in which you can increase your confidence by being prepared. Think about what fits the situation and get prepared!