Want a great exercise for working out whether to stay or go?

Are you struggling to work out what you want?
Wondering if the grass will be greener on the other side?
or do you need to check whether your decision to stay or go is the right one for you?

During the FREE call last week, with Francine Kaye - The Divorce DR, Francine took us through a great exercise to work out whether to stay or go, that you can follow along with. Not only that but she also helps you to work out why your relationship might have gone wrong in the first place and what to do once you have made the decision so that you can build a solid platform to move forward.

To listen to the call and take part in the exercise, sign up for the FREE recording here :

http://www.susansavery.co.uk/francinekaye_teleseminar.html

This call is so chock full of wonderful and practical information, that I know that you will find something here to help you.

One listener immediately emailed me within minutes of the call and described it as AWESOME !

I have set up these free calls to help other people like me who have come out of a long term relationship and had to start again, so please let me know how useful they are to you by posting your comments below. I really do want to hear from you.

Susan x : )

"What you MUST understand about your Past to achieve what you WANT the next time round"

FREE TELESEMINAR
with Susan Savery and Special Guest Expert Francine Kaye - The Divorce Doctor

Tuesday 25th August 2009 8.00pm (3.00pm US Eastern)

(Please note these calls will be recorded and available for those who register)

I am so excited that Francine has been able to find time in her busy schedule to join me in bringing you the best ideas, tips and hands-on advice on how to cut through the pain and indecision that nearly all of us go through at the end of a relationship, so that you too can come out the other side knowing exactly what you want for your future!

Francine Kaye, 'The Divorce Doctor', is a trained councellor,relationships coach, family mediator and parent effectiveness trainer. Francine regularly appears on Channel 5's The Wright Stuff and is called in as an expert to numerous radio and TV shows. She writes for Woman and Home, Prima, Psycologies, Grazia, Zest and Womans Health and is Author of the book 'The Divorce Doctor' You can find out more about francine here: The Divorce Doctor

During this call Francine will show you how to implement the 3 essential keys to getting over your past and creating your ideal life and relationships.

You will learn how to:

* Understand what happened, why it happened and how it happened.
* Know what to look for in the future - your rules for your ideal relationship
- they might not be what you think they are!
* Have the courage to say what you want and get it!

If you are ready to break through the barriers that have been holding you back which keep you in the pain of your past relationship then dont miss out on this great one time only call! Register your FREE place here

How to recognise when your relationship may be in trouble.

There are four stages that a relationship goes through when it starts to go wrong and by recognising what they are you are more able to make changes to what’s going on and be able to do something about it before it’s too late.

1. Disillusionment / discontentment

The honeymoon period is over and things start to settle down into a more regular routine, the cracks begin to show, initially they may be small things that you may not have noticed about your partner before or they could be things that you noticed but thought they didn’t really matter and now they are starting to wear you down, whichever way it starts; try and address issues now when they first begin to bother you rather than to allow them to fester and turn into something bigger that is harder to overcome. By being able to discuss issues that are bothering you, and looking for ways to improve the situation you will find that you are more likely to be able to work things through and deal with bigger differences.

2. Deterioration

This is when those cracks turn in chasms and previous discontentment’s can turn into resentment and things really start to deteriorate. Arguments and disagreements can start over nothing because underneath all the little things everything has become a mixture of unhappiness. Relationships need nurturing and working on constantly to enable people to be able to live together and stay together for any length of time. There will always be differences of opinion as you are still two individuals as well as part of a couple. If you don’t work at being part of a couple that decline in the way that you think about the other person can only get worse over time.

3. Detachment / indifference

It is inevitable that after a while you will start to become more and more detached from the other person and start to look outside of the relationship to have your needs met. This does not mean that everyone will have an affair but simply that you are likely to put your attention and emotions elsewhere, whether that is with work, friends, family or other outside activities, and indifference to the other person will settle in and you may even find that you just feel more comfortable when you are not in their company. You stop doing things together and develop other interests. Things that may have been really important to you or that you may have really enjoyed about that other person you are now indifferent to.

4. Separation.

The final stage is when for whatever reason either one of you or both of you decide that you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore and you breakup. This could be by having a trial separation or a complete break. Which ever way it is there will then follow a period of mourning / getting over the relationship. Separation can feel like hard work and feel painful, but if the relationship really wasn’t working, once you come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over, building a new and exciting life is the next step.


If you have gone through a breakup or if you are deciding at the moment whether you want to stay in a relationship, you can probably recognise the various stages above and fit your own experiences to each stage.

Whether you want to look at ways to improve your existing relationship, decide whether you want to separate or are currently getting over a breakup and feel like you need help to create some clarity and understanding, why not contact me for a free consultation, where you can discover what it is you really want

Eliminate the Pain of a Broken Heart and Transform your Life!

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Wow, what can I say? I am so excited!

After talking to and working with so many women who like me have come out of a long term relationship and had to start over again, and looking at the common problems and issues that effect them, I have been working hard to find ways to help and support you to overcome those problems as quickly and as painlessly as possible.

I’ve been burning the midnight oil and it’s been a long time in the making. I thought the day would never arrive. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to get this out to you all.

I’ll be sharing top tips that will help you to get through the initial breakup, let go of the past and have a life and relationships that you really want, without settling for second best!

So if you want to gain access to a host of really great information to help you get over a breakup and create a future that you not only WANT, but DESERVE then you will want to hot foot it over to Picking up the Pieces and grab my BRAND NEW GIVEAWAYS!

So don’t delay, join all the other amazing women who have been waiting to get their hands on this life changing information. It will be a delight to have you join us.

Don’t miss it! Sign up here. Picking up the Pieces

See you in a few days

Warmest wishes to you all,

Susan Savery
Fresh Start Relationship Coach

For more information on How to get over the pain of a past relationship so you can take your life to a new level visit www.susansavery.co.uk

What happens when you don't see eye to eye?

We all have different perspectives and sometimes we can get stuck thinking that if other people don’t see things the same way that we do then we have big problems.

How many times have you told someone something that you are really excited about and their response puts an instant downer on things and you lose the excitement that you had only a moment ago? I know it’s happened to me many a time.

When this happens you have a choice – and boy do I love choices. You can choose to allow yourself to get upset and feel negative about what the other person has said and possibly lose interest and enthusiasm for what ever it was that you were excited about or you can look at things from their perspective even if only for a moment to find ways of improving or adding to your idea in the first place.

When you look at things from a different perspective you can actually open up a whole host of new areas and ideas for yourself.

Sometimes something that you can argue about for ages is just a matter of perspective. Think about the last time you had or witnessed an argument, you could probably see two clearly different points of view and possibly a third if you were a witness to the argument, but really it’s simply a matter of different perspectives.

Think about something that you may be having a disagreement about at the moment and suspend your belief for a short time to look at the other person’s perspective. What new ideas or questions come to you that could maybe improve things or bring about a compromise.

By looking at things from a different perspective you release yourself from being trapped in beliefs that ‘this is the way it is and has to be’

Try it, remember you are not losing anything, you don’t have to give anything up - you are simply gaining a new perspective and understanding of yourself and others.