The 3 most important steps to maintaining your self respect in a relationship.

Do you find yourself in the same types of situations or relationships again and again, or is one of your fears that you don’t want to repeat old patterns and end up in the same situation but with someone new?

Or perhaps you are currently in a relationship and you are wondering why you keep ending up in the same place and going round in circles. Here are three ways in which you can re-evaluate what’s happening and make conscious changes for the better.

1 – Be honest with yourself

Only you can decide what you want to change and the only person that you can change is yourself. It has been said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over again and expecting different results!

Often we know what we don’t want more than what we do want and this can also make you feel like a victim when that is what you think you get. Get really clear on what you do want. Trust your intuition and make choices based on what you know deep down inside will make you feel good about yourself. Being honest with yourself will help you to reset those boundaries and make the changes that you want

2 – Take responsibility

It can be all too easy to allow yourself to feel like a victim of circumstance or other people, but when you do this you are effectively giving up your power and individuality to someone or something else. In some circumstances you may find that there are hidden benefits to playing the role of victim, but essentially; you are not a victim – you play a part in all relationships.

Accepting your part in the relationship, is a huge step towards releasing your own power and individuality and when you take a look at how you are feeling and what your behaviour has been; it will help you to see things from a perspective that will enable you to make changes for the better. Decide what is acceptable and set clear boundaries for yourself as well as others and when necessary discuss these honestly.

3 – Change the way you treat yourself.

If you don’t treat yourself well, how can you expect others to do so! Invest time and energy into yourself and take a long hard look at the things that you say to yourself. If you don’t feel that you are worthy then you will put up with bad behaviour from other people, and again it is about taking responsibility for what you are projecting. So start with you, show some appreciation– until you know what you are worth – you can’t expect others to. Never look for someone else to complete you – complete yourself.

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The Art of Loving YOU

If you don’t look after yourself then you won’t have the energy to look after others. It’s a simple as that. Think of the instructions that you get when you are on a flight waiting to take off and the stewardess tells you about the oxygen masks. The first thing that you are told is to put your own mask on before attempting to help anyone else, including children. This is because if you attempt to help someone else first and then you pass out from lack of oxygen then you are no use to them at all! Well that’s a great lesson to carry through to other areas of your life.

Here are a few ways that you can start to pay more attention to looking after yourself.

Nourish and care for your body – it’s got you to today and you need it to take you a lot further. Eat nutritiously, exercise regularly and make sure that you take time out to relax and replenish yourself.

Look after your emotions – Improve your sense of well being by taking time to relax and enjoy yourself, spend time doing things that you enjoy or being with people whose company you enjoy. Allow yourself to express and understand your feelings by journaling instead of keeping things bottled up.

Feed your brain – Give your brain sustenance by keeping it active, reading, taking up a hobby or dong a course will all help to keep your brain replenished. Apply your brain to creative activities or make a point of thinking creatively about problems to stretch your brain regularly.

Look after your sense of inner self – by meditating, taking walks in beautiful surroundings, regularly spend a few hours on your own; these can all help you to gain an inner sense of calm.

Give yourself a break – we are our own biggest critic. Next time you find yourself berating yourself for something you think you have done wrong, let yourself off – learn from what has happened and forgive yourself. That also includes forgiving yourself for things that have happened in the past. They are gone now – take some time to be grateful for what you learned form it and then let it go.

And as a final note – when you go to sleep at night; take some time to run through your day and think of all the good things that have happened and praise yourself for your achievements – and if you think that you haven’t had any – think again as even the tiniest thing that you did as you wanted is a success, even if it is only making a nice cup of tea!

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